Workshop Group Comments

Anna –

The descriptions in this piece are exceptional. Good job capturing the detail! The opening paragraph is very strong and really caught my attention from the beginning. I think you are right about being able to capture the general physical description of the building along with the atmosphere. However, like you said yourself, the story is unfinished and after reading what you have so far I was left wondering about the relationships between the artists. That notion of comraderie you briefly mention seems like it could be a really strong point of departure for this story. I think it would be cool if you can capture the shared struggles and successes of the people who share a common space and common lifestyle/passion/hobby/interest, etc.

Jessica –

This is a really well written reporting piece. I’m with Anna on this one and wondering where the “narrative” is in this article. Aside from that, I think you have really good information logically and sufficiently located throughout the piece. I think the piece was trying to be about Mr. Streeter’s passion to get his students to college, but the article conveys more his professionalism rather than his passion.

Myles –

 Fantastic imagery! Great work truly capturing the feel for the place. I really liked what you chose to describe and I think it works well with the piece. I think you should talk more to Curt and get his description of what the place used to look like so you can have that contrast in your piece. I think that will really add to the article. Keep up the good work.

Claire –

I liked your topic considering it’s relevance. I think you should maybe take yourself out of the piece and focus more on the smokers and get more details about them and the places you visited. Starting and ending the article with Fourth Coast gives the piece a good flow and a nice structure.

Joel –

Awesome quotes! Alex really makes this piece fascinating. However, I’m left wondering more about the other band members and I guess the general theme of the article. If you could get more interviews with the other members, fans, etc that would help a lot. Also, I think descriptive scenes and physical descriptions would really add to this. It’d be cool to capture some of the relationship dynamics between the members and also the dynamics between the audience and the band.