Response for Steven

Steven –

I really liked the descriptions throughout this piece, though, as you say, they were overbearing at times. I think limiting the decsriptions to a few choice scenes and adding more dialogue would really establish a good balance in this article. The vocabulary is excellent – it is refreshing when adjectives aren’t repeated, and you manage this quite well. Structurally, I think the piece would benefit from breaking up the paragraphs. Sometimes I found myself getting lost in them but this may just be the result of the online layout (which, in all probablity, is the case). I’m looking forward to the element that Greekfest will add to this piece. One thing to consider: what is the overall story of this besides just observing a religious ceremony?